Sunday, June 11, 2006


Money can buy a lot of things. While most would say it can't buy happiness, money certainly can buy political power, institutional power, and unfortunately in some cases, even friends. Think about politicians - ever met a poor one? While there may be exceptions, those with political power are the ones with the money. Think about executive boards; from day camps to day schools, those with the power are often the ones giving the most amount of money to that institution. After my experiences this past Shabbos, I would like to point out, however, that having money does not entitle one to:
  • Save seats at a Kiddush that isn't even yours
  • Be blatantly rude to those not in your crowd
  • Walk around bumping into people to get where you need to go

I'll judge "l'chaf zechus" and assume you don't realize what you're doing. But if you do realize and actually believe you are entitled to these aforementioned things, you're a disgrace to yourself and a disgrace to the community.


Blogger Jewboy said...

Rude awakening to the world of hockers, I see.

8:00 AM, June 12, 2006

Blogger SephardiLady said...

What? Having money doesn't entitle a person to be rude? News to me. ;)

I would say that those who are rude because they think they are highly exaulted, are not necessarily those with cold hard cash [in the bank], but those who seem to have the material stuff to show (sheitals and nice clothing for the women, cars and gadgets for the men).

12:41 PM, June 12, 2006

Blogger AlanLaz said...

Oh no no, Sephardilady, these guys are WEALTHY. Not rich, wealthy.

12:45 PM, June 12, 2006

Anonymous Anonymous said...

if you are referring to a certain group at a siyum, i am afraid thats "normal" behavior.

1:33 PM, June 12, 2006

Anonymous Anonymous said...

OUCH. Stinging tochacha to those individuals. The most surprising thing was that the father of the mesayem and son of the niftar was standing and no one bothered to give him a seat. But I think people didn't realize to be honest. People had 8 year old children sitting while adults were standing, not very good chuinuch to say the least. The problem is that certain people have a sense of entitlemement and they act accordingly.

4:23 PM, June 12, 2006

Blogger AlanLaz said...


The way they were acting was certainly not good chinuch. That being said, I feel compelled to note that the mesayeim's father was offered a seat and, as he usually does, declined a seat, as he was merely stopping by.

9:00 PM, June 12, 2006

Blogger SephardiLady said...

Well, I wasn't at the event that prompted this post. But, when it comes to kiddushim, it is one of my pet peeves that parents let their children storm the tables and take first.

7:06 AM, June 13, 2006

Anonymous Anonymous said...

You have to wonder how kids growing up in a "chinuchless" enviroment for these issues, will ever learn the proper way to act. they may be wonderful at doing chesed or tzedakkah, but their sense of kovod hatfillah, kovod bais haknesses, and kovod habriyus, leaves much to be desired.

7:29 AM, June 13, 2006

Blogger Pragmatician said...

Well it certainly does not give them the right.
Yet I don't know if it's a typical rich guy thing, or a typical unmencht type of thing, for richer or poorer.

9:35 AM, June 14, 2006

Anonymous Donny said...

It probably doesn't apply to this particular case but one thing I have noticed in my dealings with some obnoxious wealthy families (I am not saying that all wealthy families are obnoxious. I am only speaking about those that are), is that it is often the family members that have very little to do with the accumulation of wealth, that are the most insensitive.

I have often heard wives, siblings and children of a wealthy man make unusually rude comments while the man responsible for earning all the money remains silent.

I guess the reason behind this is, if the wives, siblings and children have never worked a day in their life yet still receive whatever they wish, there is no reason for them to assume that a waiter, cashier, etc. shouldn't cater to their every need/wish as well. They can't empathize with the hardworking waiter, as hard work is something they have never really encountered.

Its important for well-to-do parents to be mechanech their children about the importance of being a mentsch, not taking what they have for granted, and treating everyone as an equal.

10:12 AM, June 14, 2006

Anonymous Anonymous said...

I think the group being discussed is rude in general.I wonder if they read this, do they realize they have these shortcomings. Having said that, i know many wealthy individuals where they have the manners to go with teh wealth. Its the ultimate package.

11:27 AM, June 14, 2006

Blogger SephardiLady said...

I think it is great to have your children work a mini-wage type of job, just for the sake of learning the value of a daughter.

Donny is correct that some people just don't get what it takes for some to make a buck.

7:29 PM, June 14, 2006

Anonymous Anonymous said...


I was at the kiddush to which you refer.

You say it was a "Kiddush that isn't even yours". You are wrong. Chanina specifically asked J. Pleeter to move his regular cholent kiddush to Chanina's house. It therefore *was* our kiddush, albeit at Chanina's house. That said, the only seat that was saved was for Joel.

I think you are overly sensitive and insecure, and I hope you have more important things to worry about.


9:12 PM, June 17, 2006

Blogger AlanLaz said...


Thanks for posting your comments respectfully. I do not know what arrangement CR made with JP. Assuming he was asked to move his Kiddush to CR’s – I don’t see why you would still consider it “your Kiddush” if it was held at CR’s house – just because he asked you, your chevra, and your chulent to CR’s, that doesn’t mean that “your Kiddush” pulls the trump card on his siyum. Maybe this is part of the problem – that you view your Kiddush as the high spade in the hole and that you can run things the way you do privately, wherever you may move the Kiddush to.

What if CR would’ve wanted that seat for one of his children (R’ Moshe was known to sit his children next to him, regardless of what Gedolim he had over), his father, or another guest? Would you still say that since it’s “your Kiddush”, those people wouldn’t be able to sit there? Just some food for though.

Finally, it definitely could be true that I’m overly sensitive regarding this issue. We all have things that we allow to push our buttons too much, and this is just one of them for me. I guess it just bothered me that I was a ben bayis by him for years, and continue to go to him on a weekly basis – but I was being ordered around by a bunch of guys, most of whom had not been to CR’s in years (if this is not the case, I apologize).

That being said – you DON’T know me. Therefore, don’t say that I’m insecure. I think you need to know a person a little better from that which you read on a blog post to really be able to tell how “insecure” a person is. If you want to say that I ACTED insecure in this situation, I would disagree, but at least that would be fair. For you to assume that this is a stable character trait would be ridiculous.

I would be more than willing to continue this discussion, in person, so if you would like to, please approach me - you may see that your "insecure" assumptions are way off.

6:34 AM, June 18, 2006

Anonymous Anonymous said...

the response that they moved "their" kiddush, just adds to your thought that some people are so insensitive to the feelings of others. It really sickens me when people feel they are superior to others and can do as they please. Some of these same people have this attitude in shul as well. Oh well, we want moshiach now.

11:40 AM, June 19, 2006

Anonymous MikeDee said...

Well done, Laz, well done
If it means anything, I don't think you are insecure.
Now can you send me a link to that Montgomery County moonshine factory you always talk about?

9:46 PM, June 24, 2006


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