Wednesday, January 11, 2006

Amalek and Duke

There is a mitzvah incumbent on Jews (machlokes Sefer haChinuch and the Minchas Chinuch as to whether it applies to women) to remember and kill any member of the nation of Amalek. If there is anyone who doesn't know what Amalek is, it is basically a nation who has been a thorn in our side for thousands of years, who hates us as Jews and everything that we believe it. Howerver, nowadays, it is unclear who is considered Amalek; therefore we don't go around killing all the bad people in the world assuming they are Amalekites. However, after hours (not really) of tireless research, I have discovered today's Amalek and therefore I hold the mitzvah to kill (or at least beat them in basketball) is incumbent upon every Jew (or Maryland Terrapin). Below I will outline my reasons that Duke is the true Amalek.

I. Before Amalek, there were two schools of thought regarding G-d. One school was that of Abraham and his descendents - Judaism, a monotheistic religion. The opposite was that of Abraham's father - one of idolatry. While their beliefs are in stark contrast to the Jews, both give credit to someone or something(s) for the way this world works. However, once Amalek came into the picture, they brought with them a new school of thought - one of non-belief. Amalek exists not to get closer to G-d - they simply exist to be a pain in the @#@# to everyone else. So too by Duke. Every regular season they overachieve, only to be taken out in the NCAA tourney (made it past sweet 16 1 time in JJ Reddick's career). They exist not to win championships (MD has won one more recently), but rather to be a thorn in the side of other holier schools on their road to basketball heaven (championships).

II. "For the hand is on the throne of God: God maintains a war against Amalek..." (Exodus 17:16). The world commonly used for throne (or seat in Modern Hebrew) is Keesay, spelled in Hebrew: Kaf, Samech, Aleph. However, in this verse, it is lacking the Aleph, leaving only the Kaf and Samech. Simple knowledge of Hebrew would tell you that Kaf Samech is the two-letter root for words having to do with “covering” (in Hebrew, Keesui). Because of the aberrant spelling, there must be a connection between these verses of Amalek and “covering”. Rabbi Zev Leff in a speech given for Aish hatorah says that when Amalek is around, they “cover up” reality about what G-d is…even for the believers! So too by Duke, when Duke is around, they “cover up” the pure intentions of many other basketball programs. This is obvious if any of you have ever listened to Jay Bilas or Dick Vitale. All they talk about is Duke Duke Puke Duke Duke. Their existence “covers up” commentary that would be spent on other worth universities (Maryland) and their quest for getting closer to a national championship.

III. The Midrash compares Amalek to a dog. See Sheldon Williams, Shavlick Randolph and Nick Horvath. ENOUGH SAID.

Finally, the Gematria (numerical value) of Amalek is equal to that of the Hebrew word “doubt” – Safek. That is the essence of Amalek; to doubt everything that Jewish people everywhere stand for. In a Torah commandment, with Zechiras Amalek is, we poskin that “Safek D’oraisa le’chumra”. Let’s be machmir with Duke tonight. No holding back. May zechus of our prayers, learning, and my bittul zman writing that bring us to the day (tonight) when we can rid ourselves of this modern day Safek, and this modern day Amalek, which is certainly DUKE.


Blogger Jewboy said...

My dear bother in law, I certainly understand your hatred of Duke. However, I feel that the true Amelek of sports is the New York Yankees, yemach shemem vizichrom. Not only do they always win championships (witness their large lead in World Series titles) but they are the essence of greed in baseball (witness their signings of Mike Mussina, Jason Giambi, Alex Rodriguez, Randy Johnson, Johnny Damon, etc., etc., etc. The Bronx Bombers mid and late 90's run of success unfortunately resulted in a whole new generation of smug, arrogant Yankee fans. It's really hard to be a fan of a team that has 26 championships.

Duke? Well, they are annoying. Because I speak as a Georgia Tech fan and not a Maryland one, I suppose that i can't muster up the same kind of hatred that you do. I must also take issue with your pointing out that Maryland has won a title more recently than the Blue Devils. True, but Duke won one only the year before and has 3 championships in the last 16 years, plus other trips to the Final Four and championship game. Still, I'll be rooting for the Terps tonight, don't worry.

4:20 PM, January 11, 2006

Blogger The Mink said...

The pillars of hatred (the degrees of hatred are in the order they appear on the list):

1. The New York Yankees

2. The Duke Blue Devils

3. The Pittsburgh Steelers

4. The Nazis

Anyone with a shred of human decency must follow these principles of hatred.

6:48 PM, January 11, 2006

Anonymous Greg said...

The Mink!?!? The Mink is The Dane's boy!

8:02 PM, January 11, 2006

Blogger The Mink said...

I guess I'm missing the reference, Greg.....But I do think you should send your kids to Beth Tfiloh, I think it could be a really good fit.

3:38 PM, January 12, 2006

Blogger ADDeRabbi said...

Guess you won't be celebrating Purim this year...
well, there's always the second game.

8:28 PM, January 14, 2006

Blogger Alicia Bennett said...

Greetings, I was reading some blogs and came across your blog. I really enjoy how it makes such good reading.

I'll come by again.


MSM Degree Online

8:54 AM, January 21, 2006


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